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Literature Text
Chaos Sorcerer Faustus marched across the bloody battlefield wrought with bodies, amongst rubble and burnt debris. A lone Space Marine Captain stood before him, the entire deployment of Space Marines slaughtered for the mighty Chaos Gods. The sorcerer spoke out through his arcane helm. "Ah... Captain Edmund. It is good to see you again."
"Monster! You dare defile the lands of our Emperor! You shall be destroyed, whether by our armies, or if I must fight from Hell to get to you!" Captain Edmund spat through his teeth.
"Haha... yes... the False Emperor... how is he? Not having any 'health troubles' I imagine?" Sorcerer Faustus said adding a cackle at the end.
"THE POWDER!" Edmund cried. "It was YOU who sent the Emperor those packages of white powder!"
"Hahaha..." Faustus replied simply.
"We evacuated and spent much time and effort to protect the Emperor and his loyal servants from what we thought was a dangerous chemical."
Edmund drew his bolter and stepped closer to Faustus.
"YOU SENT FLOUR!" Edmund yelled, enraged that the Chaos Sorcerer would dare to send a false attack on the Golden Throne.
Another evil cackle came from the dark helm of Faustus.
"Come, you lackey of the Emperor. Let us decide who shall live."
Edmund began to run towards Faustus, but was stopped when the Sorcerer threw a cloud of white powder into the Captain's face.
"More flour! I will not be tricked!" The Captain cried.
The Sorcerer watched the Captain eat his words as he fell to his knees coughing.
"Foolish Captain. That was Anthrax!"
"Monster! You dare defile the lands of our Emperor! You shall be destroyed, whether by our armies, or if I must fight from Hell to get to you!" Captain Edmund spat through his teeth.
"Haha... yes... the False Emperor... how is he? Not having any 'health troubles' I imagine?" Sorcerer Faustus said adding a cackle at the end.
"THE POWDER!" Edmund cried. "It was YOU who sent the Emperor those packages of white powder!"
"Hahaha..." Faustus replied simply.
"We evacuated and spent much time and effort to protect the Emperor and his loyal servants from what we thought was a dangerous chemical."
Edmund drew his bolter and stepped closer to Faustus.
"YOU SENT FLOUR!" Edmund yelled, enraged that the Chaos Sorcerer would dare to send a false attack on the Golden Throne.
Another evil cackle came from the dark helm of Faustus.
"Come, you lackey of the Emperor. Let us decide who shall live."
Edmund began to run towards Faustus, but was stopped when the Sorcerer threw a cloud of white powder into the Captain's face.
"More flour! I will not be tricked!" The Captain cried.
The Sorcerer watched the Captain eat his words as he fell to his knees coughing.
"Foolish Captain. That was Anthrax!"
Sorry if this offends because of the Anthrax thing, but it's funny.
Anyhoo, I came up with this while transforming a Terminator Librarian into my Chaos Sorcerer. (Who is based off of Moebius from Legacy of Kain). I digress. I spoke with my friend (plays 'Nids and Death Guard), about how funny it would be if a Tzeentch sorcerer (I play Necrons and Tzeentch) sent fake anthrax to the immobile Emperor, and used the real stuff after making the Space Marines believe he only used fake stuff as a game.
Never trust manipulators. They'll fool you when you least expect it. =^.^=
HAIL TZEENTCH! LORD OF CHANGE!
Anyhoo, I came up with this while transforming a Terminator Librarian into my Chaos Sorcerer. (Who is based off of Moebius from Legacy of Kain). I digress. I spoke with my friend (plays 'Nids and Death Guard), about how funny it would be if a Tzeentch sorcerer (I play Necrons and Tzeentch) sent fake anthrax to the immobile Emperor, and used the real stuff after making the Space Marines believe he only used fake stuff as a game.
Never trust manipulators. They'll fool you when you least expect it. =^.^=
HAIL TZEENTCH! LORD OF CHANGE!
© 2008 - 2024 GregorytheImpaler
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You forgot Cocaine though.
Slaanesh dooms the Eldar.
Slaanesh dooms the Eldar.